Tonight I practiced on the deck, looking at the most beautiful view. I thought about listening to music. But there was something lovely in the sounds of the outdoors.
I listened to the birds singing to my flows. I felt the gentle wind that cooled me right when I needed it. I balanced finding a focal point on the hills. I looked up at the half moon starting to make it’s way into the blue sky.
My body moved with grace. I had more focus and balance than I have ever had. I connected my soul with the beauty around me. Something very special in this practice moved me. Meet the outdoors around you and you’ll be at peace.
Lately, I’ve not been taking care of myself.
Not in a selfish way, also not in a “I need a spa day” kind of way.
It’s more of an honoring of myself. I’ve been more in my head than in my heart. It’s easy for me to slip into this internal dialogue that never stops. I mostly over trying to be “better.”
Better. That word is hard for me to even type. It’s like just being moment by moment isn’t enough, you need to be better.
That’s why yoga gets me at a deep place. It quiets the mind and you find a place of surrender and acceptance of where you are. You can’t fake being good at postures. There is no suck it up and pretend to be something your not. Your body can only go to where you can go. You can only hear what you are ready to hear.
From training one of my favorite saying is “All will come.” It reminds me that nothing has to be perfect, or fake. It meets you where you are. And it’s wonderful.
Tonight I taught an amazing class. After almost a year of teaching, I have finally found my voice.
As a new teacher, I spent a lot of energy trying to remember everything, what to say, what comes next, how to walk around without standing in front of anyone, watching people. There’s a lot to do.
Today, something clicked inside and I found my authentic style. It was relaxed and completely me. The nerves were gone, the over thinking. It finally felt right and true and realty great.
My advice to any new teachers is to strive for authenticity and don’t try to be anyone else. Be you.
There’s unfortunately a lot of complaints and competition in teaching. There shouldn’t be, but maybe it’s our culture outside of yoga. But in the right time and right place, you find the uniqueness in your voice.
As a student, I encourage you to find the benefit to all teachers. Yes, some teachers have more experience. Some teachers might click with your style. But with every teacher there is something special. Something you can take away. Maybe that’s letting go of judgement and complaining. But there is a gift they are there to share. Let go and see what you discover in your practice.
The fruit fast was extremely easy for me. I don’t feel like it’s working. Maybe because it wasn’t hard? I don’t know but I’m excited for a couple more days to find out.
For now, I guess I am excited to eat a vegetable. Sounds funny but it sounds good. Over sweetness and I’m craving some different flavors.
Back to the last 2 days of the cleanse. It’s just like the first few days. I’ve decided if I’ve lost 6 lbs, I’ll do it again next week. Same schedule. Maybe less than that but 6 is a nice goal.
As for daily yoga. My muscles are getting sore, haven’t made excuses so I’m just proud of that. I taught the sequence last night and it went really well. The students commented when they came out so positive feedback is always nice to hear.
I’m feeling excited to practice today. It’s becoming a priority in my life and I really like it.
My goal in my practice is to get crow. I practice each time, that’s how I’ll know I’m progressing.
Definitely not me in the picture. All is coming.
Yesterday, I felt pretty good considering all I ate was fruit.
There’s no doubt that I can’t do it. Sometimes things like this you can’t wait for them to be over, but so far, I’m pretty calm with it. So at least it’s pretty easy.
What I started to have serious doubts on if it’s working. I weighed myself at the beginning but told myself I wouldn’t check until after day 7. I felt like it was working in the morning then in the afternoon felt puffy. Back to before I started. I started to worry that it’s not going to work.
But since it’s easy, I’ll just trust the process.
Weird thing, even though I’m eating all these water based foods and chugging water, I feel extremely dehydrated.
Day 3, daily yoga. It feels good to commit and connect with my practice. The movements are starting to feel natural. I’m having trouble memorizing the order of one group. But that will only come with more practice. Looking forward to today. Which is always a good thing.
Well I wasn’t perfect today but I was pretty darn close with my fruit fast. I ate nothing but fruit but had a coffee and a small piece of cake. I’m trying to be honest and still look at progress over perfection and know I’m still making good choices. I could have had three pieces of cake but that little bit was SO good.
Fruit for breakfast lunch and dinner is a little boring but lots of options. I feel like I’m drinking a ton of water. Having a ton of water going through me since the foods are all water based.
Water based food is a focus in the Baptiste Cleanse. Which is nice, I rather eat fruit than a salad with no dressing. That dry feeling is much less pleasant with all fruit.
Even a few raspberries after my yoga practice was a treat. And to my yoga practice, again I wanted to count my teaching while practicing, but talked myself into practice even coming home late. My goal tonight was to not throw up. And success. Although it was iffy.
Energy wise I feel pretty good. My muscles were a little sore or just muscle pain. I think it was because of the food. But sticking with it and looking forward to tomorrow.
The evenings are when the cravings start, but I was having those before. Now I’m just not endulging those urges. I’m not hungry, just trying to fill some kind of void.
So, let’s just say today was a lot different than yesterday. I don’t know if toxins were being cleansed from my system or what.
But here is what happened in order of my day, I started out with a quick banana to teach at 7am. It’s a low key wake up kind of flow. I tried to convince myself that it was good enough to not do my practice today. I drank a quick lemon hot water again which is super pleasant. Surprisingly! But I still drank coffee. One step at a time.
Off to work, at lunch I ate a ton (too many) carrots but they were so crunchy and sweet, I ate them until I hated them. I drank a plant based shake for lunch. But felt a mental fog, I was emotional, defeated, loss of energy and over all feeling a bit blah. I had my mid afternoon apple snack which was super welcomed and gave me a burst of energy.
After a long day I spent some time crying and over all breaking down luckily to understanding friends. Who were there completely for me.
I decided I needed to practice. Wimping out gets me nothing.
I came home, ate a quick chicken salad. Waited 20 minutes and began my practice. Somewhere between the first and third locust, I got queesy and let’s just say I detoxed. I brushed my teeth, got back on my mat and finished my practice.
I now head to a three day fruit fast. Stay tuned!