Yoga Family

I had surgery this Friday.  That being said, I tried to be at Teacher Training as much as possible.  Why?  It’s my yoga family. In my town!  I haven’t been to a training here in Wenatchee but it is so cool to have so many people that I truly adore coming to my home studio.  They have become a new family, my yoga family.

I feel about them like I do my “California Cousins.”  When they come to town, life as we know it stops.  You make sacrifices, you do what it takes to spend every second you can with them.

Also, they care for me.  I have people who really really care.  They don’t fake it, they don’t have to.  They don’t judge me or question it.  They are all completely real and completely real in their love and kindness.  They don’t have to try, they just do.  There is nothing like the relationship I have with my yoga family.  Love and respect.  Mutual understanding.  Unconditional acceptance.  If you don’t have a yoga family, you should.  And mine is pretty darn amazing.

I couldn’t make the hike yesterday, but I love these people.  Beautiful.  13411828_10100896627144203_772470144837506325_o

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Teacher Refresh

I was so blessed last weekend to spend two days with my Master Teacher, Carlo.  He is a gift to yoga that many don’t know about.  But when you spend two days with him, you want to do yoga.  You want to do it right, you want to do it constantly – you want to make yoga your life learning mission like he has.

Spending two days after graduating is amazing.  The pressure is off to memorize and study and you can immerse yourself in learning.  I learned so much, I do every time I get to sit in front of this yoga treasure.  My life has been changed, there is no doubt.

It makes me want to share what I have learned with everyone I know.  I want to get everyone’s spine moving, but it also brings me back to my practice.  How important it is to have a dedicated practice.

But what you learn most sitting with this man is humility.  In yoga, there is no room for ego.  If you struggle with it, the humbleness of sitting in front of someone that knows infinitely more than you, will always always get you humble.

Even the little things – music.  He brings me back to the basics, the root, the core of yoga.   I will never give up an opportunity to learn from him.

Then there are the things that you learn from everyone else.  A few things I learned over the last two days (I hope I don’t embarrass anyone) and these are just the people I got to connect with – there are many more;

Carlo: The root and basis of all things yoga – he is a true master of the art

Stephanie: love and acceptance and how to stop and listen so that you learn from the masters

Kiki: what a beautiful studio space, starting a Moses Lake Tribe that I am lucky to be a part of watching you grow – WillPower was one of my first classes and I love that I can continue to learn from you

BenJAMIN: the basics of meditation and calming the mind.  I am so glad I got to have a little religion talk with you and Alexis.

Alexis: what true motivation looks like – if you think you are motivated – meet this girl, you will be wowed.  Watch out world, she is going to change you

Danielle: how to laugh so hard until you cry

Stacy: how important clarity of the mind is

Lyzz: acceptance and contentment – I am so proud of you!  Proud of us, we started together and I am so glad we got to be there for each other at the end.  Eye to eye, we will always be connected.

Jill: Your strength is amazing.  I am going to get to know you better, well, when you have a free second….. Thanks for sitting with me.

Camas: what dedication and commitment to practice can do – you define a Sattvic practice

Taylor: arm balancing beyond my wildest dreams and how humor can ease the soul

I truly love all of you.  I am blessed to have you in my life.  Thank you for sharing your practice and your life with me.

 

 

 

 

 

The after teacher training absence

Since teacher training, I haven’t been going as much as I used to.  I have to stop and wonder why.  Yeah, I did my 12 days of Christmas making about a class every other day average but it didn’t feel like that much.  Then three weeks after Christmas I made only 1-2 classes a week.

The best news I heard was when someone said that is not uncommon.  I realized at my last class that my practice isn’t progressing, it is staying about the same.  Which I think is pretty good.  My poses are strong, I do them correctly.  And maybe that is the problem.  I have settled into “I know this” I have got this down now, I know how it should look and I just need to work on this or that.

The whole thing I need to remember, it isn’t the little tweaks, it is yoga PRACTICE.  I need to practice.  I can’t settle on, oh hey, I am pretty good compared to regular people (no offense to those who don’t practice yoga at all) but I have taken a good amount of classes.  I have been to a few hours of intense yoga training.  But this is not what yoga is about.  It isn’t about learning, or knowledge. It is about the process of learning, the acquiring of knowledge.  Many people might call this ego, I don’t.  I actually feel like it is settling.

Settling into good enough, being happy with what is. I know it inside me, just being good enough.  I see the teachers at my studio who are so far ahead and I think, they are icons – I humbly follow in their steps.  I listen, I learn.  But I don’t aspire to be them, they are them, I am me, I will always be learning from them.

I see the naturals, you know who you are.  You are on challenging things, the handstands, the standing splits.  I want to do these things but somewhere inside between laziness and self doubt, I don’t move forward towards those goals.  Maybe I feel I can never get there deep inside.

Those feelings, those post-training depression I will call it, is over.  This year I need a yoga goal.  I need to practice and be dedicated in my yoga.  SO my goal this year is to master the headstand.  Starting this week, every day effort.  I see my friends posting their amazing handstands and I have to realize, they are working on it.  They work and fall, push and mula.  I want to get there but I am not putting in the effort.

Yoga is in the effort, not in the goals, not in the accomplishments and definitely not in any picture or video.  It’s in the hours and hours of dedication to get there.  Upside down isn’t easy for anyone.  I fall in the trap of thinking they are all naturals, it comes so easy for them.  But I know, it just doesn’t.  They are working and I need to get off my butt and get dedicated to getting better.  I am good here, it is safe, but it is boring and not what yoga is about.

Starting tomorrow

Minimum 3 trips to the studio per week

Headstands daily with this goal:

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Shoulder Injury and Friends

Sometimes I can be a bit careless.  Example I touched on briefly but I tried to show off for family doing a headstand and was wearing socks at first and slipped, injuring my left shoulder.  I hate being “that girl” who always is hurt in someway or another.  Trust me, I don’t want to be that girl.  But somehow that is what my life has become, a medical mystery I like to say.

So I slipped into a chair on my left shoulder.  Today I went in to find out what is going on since it hasn’t gotten any better.  Bonus, I am learning all my shoulder parts.  (Quick apology to Kyra – I said I rather have a shoulder injury because so many knee and ankle injuries have kept me down.  FYI, shoulder isn’t better.  It hurts no matter what I do, even typing this gives me pain. So Kyra – you are a trooper! and I was just being dumb)  The doctor today told me I bruised my bones and muscles specifically injuring the Supraspinatus and the Subcapularis.  And man do they hurt.  I can’t reach behind me at all, I don’t know why I didn’t share it at first.  I just hope that it goes away and is nothing serious but here I am, over a week later still unable to move fully.

If you are interested, here’s a little picture of the shoulder muscles.

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The good thing is I still got into my little headstand for my family.  Nothing can keep this yogi down!

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In other news, I am teaching 6 poses this Friday in Leavenworth (come if you can – 9:30am) and am so excited to get another shot at it.  I was so nervous the first time.  Maybe it’s a room you NEVER speak in and all of a sudden you are the only one talking!  It was really fun though.

What I have really gotten the most from in this journey is deep personal friendships I have developed.  When you know the deepest parts about someone, there is a care, a love, a respect that I can’t describe except that I love these people.  I truly love them, care for them and would do anything for each any every one of them.  My husband said today love is for family, they are my family.  My yoga family.

Are you close with those around you?  Do you know the hardest struggles in their life?  It’s worth it, find out.  Make real connections and less surface connections.  It will change you, your relationships and the way you see people that you don’t know.

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Teacher Training Day 4

Yesterday was so informative, last night my brain was done so I am writing before class this morning.

It’s amazing how this has impacted my practice.  I have such a respect for the postures now, the little things that make each pose special.  I am settling in, maybe we all are.  Getting comfortable in the long days and hard poses.

The biggest thing is probably my confidence.  I am removing can’t – okay maybe not all the way but I am working on it.

What could you do if you didn’t say you couldn’t?  If you just focused on trying it.  It’s different than not wanting to do something – as Lyzz has taught me.  I am usually jumping into whatever comes my way, I’ll try anything.  At the same time, I limit myself.  I can’t do this – I can’t do that.  I let my physical limitations be my excuse.  But the trying is where the hope starts.

I feel like I can do anything, but then I modify.  I want it easier, I don’t want it to hurt.  But that isn’t living.  That isn’t giving yourself credit.  Go all the way – keep pushing.  Anything is possible.  It just all seems like things people say but they rarely do.  It’s growth.  You can’t grow without finding where your edge is today and you can’t do that without the attempt.

Today, what do you want to do?  What can you do that you just aren’t even trying?  What are you waiting for?

Life is here, it’s now.  It won’t get easier, but it will be so worth it when you get there.

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Yoga Teacher Training – Day 1

Let’s just say I am overwhelmed with day one.  On one side, I am learning SO much.  Going that deep into a pose is bound to change your practice.  But the end of the day got emotional for me.  I miss my family, I miss my home, I am missing that comfortable predictability.  I know them, they know me.  I know they will put up with me even when I am tired.

So a short recap of the first day….. Intense, sweaty, dehydrated beyond dehydrated.  But really informative.  If you want to go farther in your practice, it is definitely the way to go.

Stephanie is the instructor from the Hot Spot Yoga School….http://www.hotspotyogaschool.com/  and she is amazing.  We are the same “type” which is super fun for me because I notice things in her that I do all the time.  Where did I put my keys?  Yep, that’s me.  She sounds so intimidating, I actually was super scared of her.  But one of the things I love about yoga is the acceptance and love for others.  Somehow they show you the right way to do it without pressuring you to get all the way there. Stephanie never once made me feel like I wasn’t ready or doing the poses good enough to be in this training even though I am sure I am the farthest from the “full expression” (because I don’t use the P word in yoga- Perfect)   In yoga, it’s about pushing your body to it’s limit, not matching the 25 year old in the class.

Yeah, there’s a lot of 20 somethings – I’m easily the oldest by a good 8 years.  Maybe that made it harder today, I’m not sure.  But it was extremely hard!  By that I mostly mean the floor.  And it isn’t hard at all, they have the great floors in both Leavenworth and Spokane, but I have an almost 40 year old hips and lower back – they are screaming.  But I have 80 year old knees and they are beyond sore.  Just all you 20 somethings, when you are 40, go sit on a floor for 12 hours. Everything hurts and it is only day 1.  Ugh.

Mimi and Wes are there too, owners of BeYOUtiful Hot Yoga studios in Spokane, Leavenworth and of course my home in East Wenatchee.  Both just such cool people – amazing instructors and even better people.  It was fun to see Mimi show off her amazing skills because we so rarely get to see it after all the benefit their studios have given us.  But it feels nice to have them both there.  Something familiar.

I actually noticed after the two classes I took that I missed the people that I know.  Not seeing them in class really affected me more than I thought it would.  My yoga friends make a big difference in pushing me to my limit.  Maybe I will feel more comfortable in a few days but for now I am struggling with home sickness more than anything else.

The hardest time during the day came towards the end.  I am not hydrating enough or probably eating enough.  At the end of the last class, I felt emotional and tired.  I just wanted to lay down and watch tv.  Something mind numbing.  But maybe that is the last thing I need.  Maybe I shouldn’t numb my mind and instead be present in each breath.

That’s why I am here, here for the experience, here for the knowledge, here for a better life.  Healing myself one day at a time.  All that damage I have done will someday be a memory as I stretch and strengthen all of those little joints that are killing me now.  Now SLEEP!  Hooray~ I’ve earned it!

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