Humility 

Something I’ve been working on in the last week, finding humility. This is all about the world revolving completely without me and definitely not around me.

Sometimes I get stuck thinking I’m over important. I get caught in my head. It’s all about others affecting me. But I am reminding myself that it’s not about that in the end. It’s about what good I put into the world.  

The more humble, the more helpful I become. I see others for the value that they bring and I can see the value in everything.

What works for me is looking at the beautiful mountains growing and changing in front of me. The leaves blowing in the air. The river runs and the birds sing. All valuable and all not affected by me. Every thing is beautiful and great. Every piece of this planet is amazing, and I’m just lucky to be a part of it and share my love with all around me. 

Finding my strength 

Slowly I am finding my strength again. My confidence slowly coming back after years of not being enough. 

But I am enough. I’m strong, smart and resilient. No matter what may come, I know I can handle it.

Right now, my focus needs to move off what I had, or what I thought I had and moving into what could be. Me again, being strong, being happy. Being okay in my own skin. 

No longer will I be put in the position of trying so hard that I crack under the pressure. I know God made me for so much more. That light at the end of the tunnel is beginning to come into view. It’s dim, but I see it.

I can feel my heart again. Now it beats for me and my daughter. The only thing that ever was real, is still there. What I’ve lost was an illusion as I looked to the best, the bright side. Now I can see the darkness that was always there. A darkness I didn’t deserve. I didn’t earn that, I didn’t want to see it, but it was always there.

So I look to the light of the future. Like the caged bird I will fly free and sing again. I haven’t lost my voice, I just forgot how powerful it was. 

I’m okay. I’m okay today and I’ll be okay tomorrow. Whatever may come, I can handle it.