Something I’ve been working on in the last week, finding humility. This is all about the world revolving completely without me and definitely not around me.
Sometimes I get stuck thinking I’m over important. I get caught in my head. It’s all about others affecting me. But I am reminding myself that it’s not about that in the end. It’s about what good I put into the world.
The more humble, the more helpful I become. I see others for the value that they bring and I can see the value in everything.
What works for me is looking at the beautiful mountains growing and changing in front of me. The leaves blowing in the air. The river runs and the birds sing. All valuable and all not affected by me. Every thing is beautiful and great. Every piece of this planet is amazing, and I’m just lucky to be a part of it and share my love with all around me.
Tonight I practiced on the deck, looking at the most beautiful view. I thought about listening to music. But there was something lovely in the sounds of the outdoors.
I listened to the birds singing to my flows. I felt the gentle wind that cooled me right when I needed it. I balanced finding a focal point on the hills. I looked up at the half moon starting to make it’s way into the blue sky.
My body moved with grace. I had more focus and balance than I have ever had. I connected my soul with the beauty around me. Something very special in this practice moved me. Meet the outdoors around you and you’ll be at peace.
I changed my hair recently. I needed a fresh start. I am putting the past behind and moving forward.
Today I let my hair down. I had the windows down and the music up. It was me. The true and pure form of myself. Everything I love today has been a struggle but worth every mistake. I’ve stumbled through life to be exactly where I was meant to be.
Everything feels like it’s coming together and all at once. Which can be exciting and happy but also really scary. After what I’ve been through, it seems that good is too good to be true. That’s when it all is taken away.
But today my only choice is to feel the crisp wind of spring blowing through that window, the sun warming my cheeks, the gentle rain when I left my coat. These are the feelings of being alive.
Life is good.
One of the side effects of stress for me is cold sores. Not like normal people cold sores, intense super cold sores. I get flu symptoms, sore throat, swollen painful glands in my neck.
Yesterday, my upper lip exploded. One of my worst ever, which I guess says something about the stress I’m under. I’m spending time in bed because I feel awful. But also because I look awful.
The worst part is that I look like a horrible monster. I don’t feel like going anywhere but at the same time, the cold bites at it. I want to curl into a little ball and cry under the covers.
When you are struggling to go through each day, this is not helping. I had to push a new job off, miss parties, and hide in bed.
Little could be worse when I’m in the thick of it. The good news is within a week, it should be gone. You may think, could it really be that bad. You decide…
It’s extremely hard to post a picture. But I know, my heart is beautiful, and that doesn’t fade or get hidden by the outside. My heart loves deeply, fully and forever.
When beauty is taken away you realize how unimportant it is. The people who love you continue to love you. Beauty and cold sores are temporary. Find people who love you regardless and your life will be full. Your beauty is always within, at any time, at any age. Even through the pain and dark parts, a true and loving heart stays beautiful always.
In the last couple classes I have tried to focus on what I want to be in the world as I practice. That mantra type thing has been: Inhale Beauty and Exhale Love.
What this means to me is that I want to take in the beauty around me, the beauty of life. If you look hard enough, there is always beauty to be found. In every person, in every practice, in every piece of nature. It’s all beautiful and my hope is to take in as much of it as I can, no matter how long I have here. The world is a beautiful place, I am blessed to be here, able to take it all in.
I also want to exhale love into the world. Sounds simple but it can take on a lot of meaning. With my voice speak words of love, with my actions show love and that I might practice love and forgiveness to others and to myself.
Doing this in my past two Hatha practices has really deepened my practice. Every time I loose focus or thing of my breath, I take in beauty and exhale love. I just think those two words while I breath slowly. Breathing has been a struggle for me – this has kept my breath slow and strong. Focused on the good, not the bad.
What a gift I could be if I can master those two things.