Power daily practice day 1

Okay, truth time. I’ve supposed to have been doing this for two weeks. But I’ve had tomorrow syndrome, yet tomorrow never came. 

Today I took a step, a step I’ll commit to for the next week. I’m looking to just focus on a week at a time. 

This week I’m also starting the Baron Baptiste cleanse. It goes right along with today’s 8 limbs, living simply. It’s simple, not complicated but also extremely difficult. I’ll take this one day at a time, starting today. 

I want to change, grow. I haven’t treated myself like I deserve to be treated. I’ve ate like I hate myself. One of the things I read that really stuck from his book was how you take care of your car. You wouldn’t fill it with sugar and fast food. You would change the oil, put in good gas, wash and care for it. But many of us don’t treat our bodies with the same respect. 

Today that changes, not tomorrow, tomorrow never comes. Today is the day. I deserve it and I respect myself enough to treat my body well.

Brahmacharya – living simply

I’ll do two posts today, working through the 8 limbs and also starting a cleanse and daily practice I’ll write about after.

First, brahmacharya, to me, this means simple living. Personally in my life, I tend to make things more complicated in my head then they need to be. 

In Brahmacharya, I dedicate to simplifing my life, clearing my head of useless worries and fears. Letting my core self shine through without letting the outside world or others effect that core self.

In yoga, I don’t need to overthink on the mat, I just move and breathe, from one posture to the next, not overthinking just movement and breath. 

Asteya – non-stealing

What this means to me: it’s more than just stealing. In fact, I’ve avoided this and pushed it off farther than I should. Doing some research, I know why. Non-stealing to me is avoiding greed, or trying to rob someone else or myself of happiness. It’s finding peace in where I am, and where I’m not. It’s deciding I have enough. Not longing for what someone else has, but loving what I have.

Through gossip and putting others down, we are trying to steal their happiness.

On the mat, I very often want what someone else has. A posture, a balance, a body. I long for what I don’t have. All I can do is be where I am at right now. And know all I need is in my control. Not what I want, what I need.

Off the mat, I can use this principal I every part of my life. I will not steal happiness from others but celebrate in thier happiness. Only when we are happy in where we are we can be happy. 

Everything in my life has lead me to right here, right now. In this moment, I don’t want what anyone has, I love what I have.

I won’t steal happiness from anyone, there’s plenty to go around. 

Being me

Wow, amazing day here at the yoga conference. I feel complete and settled. Okay with being me. I’m done trying to be someone I’m not. I’m me, the only me. And today what I’ve been moving around in my head about long term goals have been solidified. 

I know exactly what I want, and just have such a peace and clarity about the next steps. But more than that. I’ve cut the noise, right to the center of what all this is about for me. 

To tell you the truth, I’ve taken my own path today. Many people are sore, but I’ve done some very easy but physically and mentally restorative. I needed than cleansing, get rid of some of the old to make space for new energy to find its way in.

Mala & mat, keeping me honest and grounded.

Satya – Truth

I’m at the yoga conference in Seattle this weekend and I’ve already been touched deeply by what I’ve learned here.

Statya is the Yama I am working on as I study the 8 limbs. This morning I learned a different meaning.

What it means to me: Stop listening to the lies I tell myself. I need to retrain my brain to ask, “Is that true, is that real” any lie you tell yourself, is not true and not real. 

What it means to my practice: let go of Ego. There is no need to worry what is going on off my mat. The only things that are real and true are happening outside my head and I am missing it. 

How can I apply this to my life more: as many thoughts I can catch, I will ask myself if it’s true. If it is real, and if it’s a story or a lie I’ve told myself and held onto, I’m going to let it go. Put it behind me and speak truth. 

Ahimsa – Non Violence

I’ve always considered myself against violence. But in reality, I’ve been mad enough. I can use this reminder.

What it means to me? Being calm, not letting my anger get out of control. Loving more than fighting.

How can I practice in yoga? Loving my practice, no matter what struggles I have, being kind and loving to my body. 

How I practice in life? I’ve lately let spiders live. This has been a big struggle to not focus on them, watch them so I know where they go. It seems like a silly little thing but I’ve made peace with them. Knowing most of them won’t hurt me. Although I’ve had my share of bites, I know many more just live and move on their way eventually. 

How I plan on applying this limb more? Being kind and forgiving to myself and others. Live and let live. Knowing everyone has struggles I know nothing about. Everyone makes choices every day. Today, I’ll choose love over anger,  life over death, kindness and understanding over judgement. 

8 Limbs of Yoga: Yama

I will be going through the 8 limbs of yoga in the next couple weeks. Focusing on one per day and how they relate to my life both on and of the mat.

The first of the 8 limbs is the Yamas. Yama means your personal ethical standards and integrity. I’ll be honest here, I haven’t always done the right thing.

Sometimes I find myself being selfish and not seeing how my actions effect other people before I act on them. 

In this process of training, I’m going to let the past go and move forward with integrity. I want to take these main thoughts of yoga back into my life and open myself back up to learning. 

It’s easy to think you have things all figured out so you can settle, stop learning, stop growing and just be for awhile. But for today, for the next few weeks, I commit to being a student. 

The Yamas to me can be practiced within yoga by being true to your practice. Learning to work when you have the energy, push when you need to, and pull back when you need a break. It’s being authentic to yourself and accepting where you fail and where you thrive. 

Off your mat, the personal integrity is much more interactive with the people in your life and the change that you can affect every day by just being a good person. 

I’m looking to the next few weeks with a focus on these yoga values. I have good things in the works, that starts with humbling myself and letting myself be a student of yoga first, teacher second. 

Happy insomnia

I couldn’t sleep last night. Usually it’s stress related, but last night it was happiness. I’m grateful and content. Happy to be where I’m at and settled in my life.

I’ve reduced some stress and drama that I didn’t need and have focused on healing myself and my family and it’s all coming together. 

Just a few moments in bed, happy. To be alive, to be moving forward. Breathing in and out pure joy. I’m thankful for all that I have and I have everything I need. My heart is full and I feel truly blessed.

Take a moment now and then and find contentment in your life.

Night owl

I love the night. Everyone is asleep and it’s as quiet as it gets. The fire is dying down and I find my worries fading away. I find a sense of peace and calm. I usually stay up 2-3 hours just to bask in the darkness.

It’s something beautiful to feel your loved ones at rest. I can finally relax, let go of those expectations and just be.

I’m sure morning people feel the same way. But for me, that couple hours before I crawl into bed and I find peace, I can sleep. Knowing in my heart that a new day is coming and I’ll be okay. For just these moments, everything is right and hopeful. Looking forward, letting the day go. It’s just what I need.

I love when I can see the moon. Comforting knowing it’s there with me to watch over the night. The quiet streets with just those few kindred souls making their way to their homes or night jobs. 

Everything slows down, the running around from place to place fades away into the dark and I am at peace.

The fear and the pain

When you constantly question yourself and then have no one that supports you, it compounds. The pain of feeling invaluable or unlinked is devastating. 

I try so hard, be the best version of me. Be everything to everyone. Trying to just get by in my head while constantly feeling like I’m drowning in the expectations that I can never get a breath.

I don’t feel like enough. There’s always more that someone wants. It’s never enough, there’s never a chance to breath and be who I am. 

I know in my head that a lot of the anxiety but when I’m in it there’s nothing I can do but keep trying harder until I break.

Tonight I broke. Maybe just for a little while but the expectations from all directions broke me down. I spend the last hour in my bed crying until my pillow was wet everywhere from the tears. My heart hurts in every way. Emotionally, physically drained. Yet tomorrow I’ve got to get up again and do it all over. 

Another day, another pound of flesh to give when I’m spent. Is there a point where you have nothing left to give? Then I can rest. My heart will beat and that is enough.