I’m an introvert. To some who really know me, it is not a surprise. To others, it might be. I can completely fake being social, but when ever I’m forced to chit chat, I want to run.
I avoid all social situations. I don’t talk to my neighbors. I dodge my family. I hate going to lunch with coworkers.
I have a few close friends, like I always have. I feel like I can open up after a bit of time, but only with small groups. Really just 1-2 at a time. The larger the group, the quieter I will become.
Sometimes it feels like the world is social. It seems like it is glorified, and antisocial behavior is looked down on like some sort of defect.
Maybe it only feels that way because the social outgoing people get farther in life by making those connections. Or they do high profile jobs better.
I feel like I run into outgoing, extroverted people every where but seldom talk to other introverts. Maybe it’s because neither of us make that first move. We avoid each other.
For a moment consider that antisocial isn’t a disease. It’s not a social defect of character. It’s just different. Celebrate the introverts in your life for being who they are. Introverts may be quiet, but we are thinking, observing. We might take a while to warm to, but when we do, it means you mean that much to us.
Friendship for the introvert is all in. It’s deep. Nothing is ever shallow. It’s true and real. Introverts love deeply, we are considerate and thoughtful. We avoid the surface to open up to what really matters.
If you see an antisocial person, don’t judge them for avoiding small talk, just give them a little wave and let them be.
I changed my hair recently. I needed a fresh start. I am putting the past behind and moving forward.
Today I let my hair down. I had the windows down and the music up. It was me. The true and pure form of myself. Everything I love today has been a struggle but worth every mistake. I’ve stumbled through life to be exactly where I was meant to be.
Everything feels like it’s coming together and all at once. Which can be exciting and happy but also really scary. After what I’ve been through, it seems that good is too good to be true. That’s when it all is taken away.
But today my only choice is to feel the crisp wind of spring blowing through that window, the sun warming my cheeks, the gentle rain when I left my coat. These are the feelings of being alive.
Life is good.
Lately, I’ve not been taking care of myself.
Not in a selfish way, also not in a “I need a spa day” kind of way.
It’s more of an honoring of myself. I’ve been more in my head than in my heart. It’s easy for me to slip into this internal dialogue that never stops. I mostly over trying to be “better.”
Better. That word is hard for me to even type. It’s like just being moment by moment isn’t enough, you need to be better.
That’s why yoga gets me at a deep place. It quiets the mind and you find a place of surrender and acceptance of where you are. You can’t fake being good at postures. There is no suck it up and pretend to be something your not. Your body can only go to where you can go. You can only hear what you are ready to hear.
From training one of my favorite saying is “All will come.” It reminds me that nothing has to be perfect, or fake. It meets you where you are. And it’s wonderful.
I have dreamed of working in media since my freshman year in high school where I met a teacher who would change the course of my life leading up to this moment. That teacher was Mr. Doug McComas. I found where I wanted to be and where I would try to get to for the next 20+ years.
I’ve wanted to be in media. I found Marketing and loved that equally. But bounced around never marrying the two. Now, I’m an Advertising Account Executive with the local TV Station, NCWLife.
I’m beyond excited. The excitement of news and deadlines energizes me. I almost can’t believe I’m working along some Wenatchee greats: Steve Hair? Eric Grandstrom? Lisa Bradshaw? Dan Kuntz? Yeah. Yeah. I know, star struck listening to their voices as I walk around is crazy. Steve Hair was right in front of me today. Like right there, talking and having a normal conversation in his voice!
Okay, maybe not everyone would act like an idiot not being able to speak in front of Steve Hair. Or being so silly awkward in front of Dan Kuntz. But seriously, I’m such a dork for this and don’t even care.
I’ve really been cyber stalking them for months. Watching, contacting, all of it.
So it’s the dream of all dreams for me, just let me take it in. Can’t wait to get started on this ride.
Tonight I taught an amazing class. After almost a year of teaching, I have finally found my voice.
As a new teacher, I spent a lot of energy trying to remember everything, what to say, what comes next, how to walk around without standing in front of anyone, watching people. There’s a lot to do.
Today, something clicked inside and I found my authentic style. It was relaxed and completely me. The nerves were gone, the over thinking. It finally felt right and true and realty great.
My advice to any new teachers is to strive for authenticity and don’t try to be anyone else. Be you.
There’s unfortunately a lot of complaints and competition in teaching. There shouldn’t be, but maybe it’s our culture outside of yoga. But in the right time and right place, you find the uniqueness in your voice.
As a student, I encourage you to find the benefit to all teachers. Yes, some teachers have more experience. Some teachers might click with your style. But with every teacher there is something special. Something you can take away. Maybe that’s letting go of judgement and complaining. But there is a gift they are there to share. Let go and see what you discover in your practice.
It’s been a week since I felt like writing. It’s been a week where I’m just running the rate race and loosing.
Today I had a powerful experience that reignited something deep inside. I won’t write about it. It’s just that special to me. But for all those involved, know you each touched my heart and I love each of you.
I also did some meditation before class and had an experience and a mind set going in. In mediation a deep calm comes over me. I can let the trying hard goes away and I can be with what is.
I always hated the saying “it is what it is.” Today I got my version that I like much better. It Just Is. something so simple can carry such a big punch.
My light has been found and today I flipped the switch. I feel changed, transformed. Not into something better, just into what is.
The fruit fast was extremely easy for me. I don’t feel like it’s working. Maybe because it wasn’t hard? I don’t know but I’m excited for a couple more days to find out.
For now, I guess I am excited to eat a vegetable. Sounds funny but it sounds good. Over sweetness and I’m craving some different flavors.
Back to the last 2 days of the cleanse. It’s just like the first few days. I’ve decided if I’ve lost 6 lbs, I’ll do it again next week. Same schedule. Maybe less than that but 6 is a nice goal.
As for daily yoga. My muscles are getting sore, haven’t made excuses so I’m just proud of that. I taught the sequence last night and it went really well. The students commented when they came out so positive feedback is always nice to hear.
I’m feeling excited to practice today. It’s becoming a priority in my life and I really like it.
My goal in my practice is to get crow. I practice each time, that’s how I’ll know I’m progressing.
Definitely not me in the picture. All is coming.