Tonight I practiced on the deck, looking at the most beautiful view. I thought about listening to music. But there was something lovely in the sounds of the outdoors.
I listened to the birds singing to my flows. I felt the gentle wind that cooled me right when I needed it. I balanced finding a focal point on the hills. I looked up at the half moon starting to make it’s way into the blue sky.
My body moved with grace. I had more focus and balance than I have ever had. I connected my soul with the beauty around me. Something very special in this practice moved me. Meet the outdoors around you and you’ll be at peace.
Tonight I taught an amazing class. After almost a year of teaching, I have finally found my voice.
As a new teacher, I spent a lot of energy trying to remember everything, what to say, what comes next, how to walk around without standing in front of anyone, watching people. There’s a lot to do.
Today, something clicked inside and I found my authentic style. It was relaxed and completely me. The nerves were gone, the over thinking. It finally felt right and true and realty great.
My advice to any new teachers is to strive for authenticity and don’t try to be anyone else. Be you.
There’s unfortunately a lot of complaints and competition in teaching. There shouldn’t be, but maybe it’s our culture outside of yoga. But in the right time and right place, you find the uniqueness in your voice.
As a student, I encourage you to find the benefit to all teachers. Yes, some teachers have more experience. Some teachers might click with your style. But with every teacher there is something special. Something you can take away. Maybe that’s letting go of judgement and complaining. But there is a gift they are there to share. Let go and see what you discover in your practice.
It’s been a week since I felt like writing. It’s been a week where I’m just running the rate race and loosing.
Today I had a powerful experience that reignited something deep inside. I won’t write about it. It’s just that special to me. But for all those involved, know you each touched my heart and I love each of you.
I also did some meditation before class and had an experience and a mind set going in. In mediation a deep calm comes over me. I can let the trying hard goes away and I can be with what is.
I always hated the saying “it is what it is.” Today I got my version that I like much better. It Just Is. something so simple can carry such a big punch.
My light has been found and today I flipped the switch. I feel changed, transformed. Not into something better, just into what is.
Yesterday, I felt pretty good considering all I ate was fruit.
There’s no doubt that I can’t do it. Sometimes things like this you can’t wait for them to be over, but so far, I’m pretty calm with it. So at least it’s pretty easy.
What I started to have serious doubts on if it’s working. I weighed myself at the beginning but told myself I wouldn’t check until after day 7. I felt like it was working in the morning then in the afternoon felt puffy. Back to before I started. I started to worry that it’s not going to work.
But since it’s easy, I’ll just trust the process.
Weird thing, even though I’m eating all these water based foods and chugging water, I feel extremely dehydrated.
Day 3, daily yoga. It feels good to commit and connect with my practice. The movements are starting to feel natural. I’m having trouble memorizing the order of one group. But that will only come with more practice. Looking forward to today. Which is always a good thing.
So, let’s just say today was a lot different than yesterday. I don’t know if toxins were being cleansed from my system or what.
But here is what happened in order of my day, I started out with a quick banana to teach at 7am. It’s a low key wake up kind of flow. I tried to convince myself that it was good enough to not do my practice today. I drank a quick lemon hot water again which is super pleasant. Surprisingly! But I still drank coffee. One step at a time.
Off to work, at lunch I ate a ton (too many) carrots but they were so crunchy and sweet, I ate them until I hated them. I drank a plant based shake for lunch. But felt a mental fog, I was emotional, defeated, loss of energy and over all feeling a bit blah. I had my mid afternoon apple snack which was super welcomed and gave me a burst of energy.
After a long day I spent some time crying and over all breaking down luckily to understanding friends. Who were there completely for me.
I decided I needed to practice. Wimping out gets me nothing.
I came home, ate a quick chicken salad. Waited 20 minutes and began my practice. Somewhere between the first and third locust, I got queesy and let’s just say I detoxed. I brushed my teeth, got back on my mat and finished my practice.
I now head to a three day fruit fast. Stay tuned!
One of my favorite Sanskrit words to say. It’s just fun.
But what it means – non covetousness. What it means to me is 2 things: 1) being grateful for what you have 2) not being jealous or wanting what someone else has.
What it means off the mat: greed, wanting what you don’t need, jealousy. All of these are struggles for me, I’ll be honest. I want to not want what other people have, whether it’s a body or things like cars and houses. I find myself longing for what I don’t have. Today, I’m grateful for what I do have. Which is actually a lot. Plenty. More than I deserve. And for the body, I’m settled in my body. Where it at today, I earned every bit of my weight. For better or worse, I’ve done this to myself.
On the mat: it’s easy to want the practice of others. It’s common to watch what other people can do. But again I’ve earned only what I’ve worked for. In yoga, there’s only one way to get what others have, working for it. Practicing frequently. Today I am settled into my practice. Enjoying right where I’m at and knowing it’s a constant practice to improve. There’s no end date, it’s constant growth to the next depth, the little father stretch and the more stength.
Okay, truth time. I’ve supposed to have been doing this for two weeks. But I’ve had tomorrow syndrome, yet tomorrow never came.
Today I took a step, a step I’ll commit to for the next week. I’m looking to just focus on a week at a time.
This week I’m also starting the Baron Baptiste cleanse. It goes right along with today’s 8 limbs, living simply. It’s simple, not complicated but also extremely difficult. I’ll take this one day at a time, starting today.
I want to change, grow. I haven’t treated myself like I deserve to be treated. I’ve ate like I hate myself. One of the things I read that really stuck from his book was how you take care of your car. You wouldn’t fill it with sugar and fast food. You would change the oil, put in good gas, wash and care for it. But many of us don’t treat our bodies with the same respect.
Today that changes, not tomorrow, tomorrow never comes. Today is the day. I deserve it and I respect myself enough to treat my body well.