It’s been a week since I felt like writing. It’s been a week where I’m just running the rate race and loosing.
Today I had a powerful experience that reignited something deep inside. I won’t write about it. It’s just that special to me. But for all those involved, know you each touched my heart and I love each of you.
I also did some meditation before class and had an experience and a mind set going in. In mediation a deep calm comes over me. I can let the trying hard goes away and I can be with what is.
I always hated the saying “it is what it is.” Today I got my version that I like much better. It Just Is. something so simple can carry such a big punch.
My light has been found and today I flipped the switch. I feel changed, transformed. Not into something better, just into what is.
One of my favorite Sanskrit words to say. It’s just fun.
But what it means – non covetousness. What it means to me is 2 things: 1) being grateful for what you have 2) not being jealous or wanting what someone else has.
What it means off the mat: greed, wanting what you don’t need, jealousy. All of these are struggles for me, I’ll be honest. I want to not want what other people have, whether it’s a body or things like cars and houses. I find myself longing for what I don’t have. Today, I’m grateful for what I do have. Which is actually a lot. Plenty. More than I deserve. And for the body, I’m settled in my body. Where it at today, I earned every bit of my weight. For better or worse, I’ve done this to myself.
On the mat: it’s easy to want the practice of others. It’s common to watch what other people can do. But again I’ve earned only what I’ve worked for. In yoga, there’s only one way to get what others have, working for it. Practicing frequently. Today I am settled into my practice. Enjoying right where I’m at and knowing it’s a constant practice to improve. There’s no end date, it’s constant growth to the next depth, the little father stretch and the more stength.
I’ll do two posts today, working through the 8 limbs and also starting a cleanse and daily practice I’ll write about after.
First, brahmacharya, to me, this means simple living. Personally in my life, I tend to make things more complicated in my head then they need to be.
In Brahmacharya, I dedicate to simplifing my life, clearing my head of useless worries and fears. Letting my core self shine through without letting the outside world or others effect that core self.
In yoga, I don’t need to overthink on the mat, I just move and breathe, from one posture to the next, not overthinking just movement and breath.
What this means to me: it’s more than just stealing. In fact, I’ve avoided this and pushed it off farther than I should. Doing some research, I know why. Non-stealing to me is avoiding greed, or trying to rob someone else or myself of happiness. It’s finding peace in where I am, and where I’m not. It’s deciding I have enough. Not longing for what someone else has, but loving what I have.
Through gossip and putting others down, we are trying to steal their happiness.
On the mat, I very often want what someone else has. A posture, a balance, a body. I long for what I don’t have. All I can do is be where I am at right now. And know all I need is in my control. Not what I want, what I need.
Off the mat, I can use this principal I every part of my life. I will not steal happiness from others but celebrate in thier happiness. Only when we are happy in where we are we can be happy.
Everything in my life has lead me to right here, right now. In this moment, I don’t want what anyone has, I love what I have.
I won’t steal happiness from anyone, there’s plenty to go around.
I’ve always considered myself against violence. But in reality, I’ve been mad enough. I can use this reminder.
What it means to me? Being calm, not letting my anger get out of control. Loving more than fighting.
How can I practice in yoga? Loving my practice, no matter what struggles I have, being kind and loving to my body.
How I practice in life? I’ve lately let spiders live. This has been a big struggle to not focus on them, watch them so I know where they go. It seems like a silly little thing but I’ve made peace with them. Knowing most of them won’t hurt me. Although I’ve had my share of bites, I know many more just live and move on their way eventually.
How I plan on applying this limb more? Being kind and forgiving to myself and others. Live and let live. Knowing everyone has struggles I know nothing about. Everyone makes choices every day. Today, I’ll choose love over anger, life over death, kindness and understanding over judgement.
I will be going through the 8 limbs of yoga in the next couple weeks. Focusing on one per day and how they relate to my life both on and of the mat.
The first of the 8 limbs is the Yamas. Yama means your personal ethical standards and integrity. I’ll be honest here, I haven’t always done the right thing.
Sometimes I find myself being selfish and not seeing how my actions effect other people before I act on them.
In this process of training, I’m going to let the past go and move forward with integrity. I want to take these main thoughts of yoga back into my life and open myself back up to learning.
It’s easy to think you have things all figured out so you can settle, stop learning, stop growing and just be for awhile. But for today, for the next few weeks, I commit to being a student.
The Yamas to me can be practiced within yoga by being true to your practice. Learning to work when you have the energy, push when you need to, and pull back when you need a break. It’s being authentic to yourself and accepting where you fail and where you thrive.
Off your mat, the personal integrity is much more interactive with the people in your life and the change that you can affect every day by just being a good person.
I’m looking to the next few weeks with a focus on these yoga values. I have good things in the works, that starts with humbling myself and letting myself be a student of yoga first, teacher second.