Online for some strange reason I feel more like me than I feel like me when I’m in person with pretty much any social interaction.
Maybe a couple place or people get the real me, teaching/practicing/ doing yoga. I’m the same me as I am here. But get me having a conversation and somehow someone different takes over. And with two very close friends, my daughter and my husband, and my dogs. Okay okay, and I kinda dig this one cat.
Anyways, I’m me. The shell goes away, the conversation can happen. And I let the stress, the anxiety, the attempt at a facade of strength in a trembling body that I’m sure fools no one.
But I’m myself one other place. Here. Online. I write these alone. Relaxed. (Usually) I’m completely drawn out. Guard down. You have to wonder why that is, I know I do. But for me, something about knowing someone may be listening, reading. And this helps them think about things.
Maybe I have social anxiety. But this helps me be honest, and confident. It helps the real me grow. All things coming, my hope is someday I’m all me everywhere.