Who is the real me?

Online for some strange reason I feel more like me than I feel like me when I’m in person with pretty much any social interaction.

Maybe a couple place or people get the real me, teaching/practicing/ doing yoga. I’m the same me as I am here. But get me having a conversation and somehow someone different takes over. And with two very close friends, my daughter and my husband, and my dogs. Okay okay, and I kinda dig this one cat.

Anyways, I’m me. The shell goes away, the conversation can happen. And I let the stress, the anxiety, the attempt at a facade of strength in a trembling body that I’m sure fools no one. 

But I’m myself one other place. Here. Online. I write these alone. Relaxed. (Usually)  I’m completely drawn out. Guard down. You have to wonder why that is, I know I do. But for me, something about knowing someone may be listening, reading. And this helps them think about things. 

Maybe I have social anxiety. But this helps me be honest, and confident. It helps the real me grow. All things coming, my hope is someday I’m all me everywhere.  

 

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Published by

amykreick

BRCA 2+, Post Bilateral Mastectomy, Post Surgical Menopause, Previvor, Dedicated Yoga Student, Previvor Advocate

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